Tumma kuutamo

Olen istunut läpi unettomat yöt

joina pimeys valuu selkärankaan

eikä tähtitaivaalla ole valoa

Niinä öinä haluan sulkea silmät

ja unohtaa olemassaoloni

koska ajatuskin tummasta kuutamosta

saa minut pelkäämään itseäni

[12/17]

Eksynytkö?

Kylmä katu, pimeät valot

lumi hautaa alleen kaiken

mikä oli joskus elossa

Tuuli suutelee kaulaani

aivan kuin olisin sille jotain velkaa

tahdon kietoutua lämpöön

joka hehkuu minua ympäröivästä jäästä

[12/17]

Make believe

I am a wannabe person

make believe is my greatest talent

under these heavy assumptions

I lay on myself

There is no behind the scenes

no exit from the stage

I am all out

without showing my true self

[11/17]

Selfless

You want to make people smile

tell them everything is gonna be ok

but who is it that will

draw a smile on your lips

when you need it the most?

[12/17]

White noise

I am invisible

trying to find my way

while people walk through me

Disconnected yet still here

just white noise

A ghost running in the empty air

as everyone around me shouts

covers everything in noise

[11/17]

Floating

Your bed is a boat

You sail

in the middle of a dark ocean

waves trying to reach you

The starry sky

behind the layer of grey clouds

won't shine bright enough

to share its light with you

In that moment

when your mind is creating

the upcoming storm

all you can do

is to brave yourself

[11/17]

Miracle

I need no miracles

I need no magic words

All I need is to love

and to be loved

But maybe that would be the miracle

[12/17]

Paper cuts

My bed is deep as I lay down

and try to ignore the noisy days

concentrate on the blissful silence

I fall deeper, harder

with every breath I take

but closed eyes won't block

the hurry and life

The life I'm suppose to

enjoy

love

I'm only surviving

living through relationships

nonsense conversations

while inside all this carefully built facade

I'm screaming loud enough

to lose my voice

The paper people

inside these paper walls

won't hear it

won't rip their way through

to my reality

All I get are paper cuts

that remind me what pain

is suppose to feel like

[11/17]

Dizzy

Your lip between my teeth

your hot breath on the back of my throat

make me feel dizzy for the wrong reasons

As my fingertips dance down your spine

and your restless skin shivers

through the hot waves

our fantasy finally breaks

[11/17]

A distant memory

When sleep is

but a distant memory

an illusion

the theater imagination can start

The endless monologues

of ”what ifs”

and conversations that will

never survive through

the sleepless night

You think through

all the people you hate

and love

What you will never say to them

unless they break your cycle

and come lay next to you

on the half empty bed

where your dreams have abandoned you

[10/17]

Toxic

I want to paint you

with the colours

of a smoky sunset

as I inhale the poison

from your beauty

[10/17]

A riddle

I am a riddle to be solved

a solution to a problematic being

While figuring myself out

I have created more knots

Never ending questions of how to be

[09/17]

I write to be naked

I write to be naked

to find my skin

to find myself

I trace the words around me

make a map

so I can show my true self

to my own heart

When I write

I am me

I can lie and hide

but between the lines

is what I am looking for

When I've tried

to read words out loud

expose my thoughts

it has felt like strip tease

Word by word

piece by piece

I take off my clothes

to reveal my bare self

The only way to love

my unperfect body

is to cover it with letters

phrases that show the side of me

which can only be read

In my handwriting

you can see my emotions

In the shaking voice

reading lines from a messy notebook

you can hear my fears

[10/17]

Kuiskataan

Upotaan hetkeksi siihen uskoon

että maailma voi pysähtyä

jos vain toivomme

             haluamme

             huudamme

tarpeeksi kovaa

[08/17]

Collection of thoughts pt 1

[ These are glimpses from my notebook, lines that never turned into poems. Messy thoughts from 2017. ]


♥♥♥


I am more than the words I write

and less than the empty lines

in this notebook

I try to fill with life

♥♥♥

The ink is my blood

I spill it instead of

dancing with the razorblade

which loves my weaknesses

♥♥♥

We are suppose to

see the same stars

but I don't know if

we are in the same universe

♥♥♥

Don't take the road

that leads straight

to my heart

It'll break us both

♥♥♥

I can feel poetry

on your lips

Your bloodstream moves lines

rushes poems all around your body

♥♥♥

There is a monster under my bed

and it whispers your name

♥♥♥

The word ”darling”

tastes like you


♥♥♥

Replicas

Even if I care

it doesn't mean

I'm happy

Doesn't mean

I won't get stuck

with the replicas

of my imagination

[08/17]

Paradox

I feel like a paradox

I create to fight the anxiety

to clear the sky from the dark clouds

But when I feel good

and the sun is shining above me

my world crumbles

because I can't create beauty

out of the disguised thoughts

[08/17]

A bruised sky

A bruised sky

above my fears

lingering with the weight

of the upcoming rain

that falls on me

like my fear of you

your smile

your emotions

not reflecting mine

[08/17]

Unspoken thoughts

Unspoken thoughts

fragile minds

trying to bring to life

their deepest emotions

Meaningless words flying around

circling the actual cause

figuring out a way

to tell the truth without getting hurt

[08/17]

Painless

Stick roses through my heart

kiss my silent lips

while I try to remember

how we got here

[08/17]