Kestäthän?

Tahdon olla oikea

sopiva

tarpeeksi

juuri se

mistä näet unta

Haluan olla olemassa

antaa

auttaa

ja uskoa meihin

Ollakseni oikeassa

minun on kai vain

antauduttava

ja luottaa siihen

että sinä kestät

Numb

I'm numb

falling through meaningless days

trying

pretending to feel

I tell I know what love feels like

I smile when I'm supposed to

I fake sadness when the rain catches us

Inside all this play

I put on every day

I stare at the sky

blankly

waiting for the moon

Panic room

I am my own panic room

locked inside

these four walls

safe and sound

or stuck in memories

Perfectly horrible mix

of both

Motionless

I long to be the rain

that falls through grey skies

I reflect myself

in the clouds

read star signs

like it is the truth

of my existence

But I fall

nonetheless

I fall

and it is the only thing

that keeps me in motion

Vaihtokauppa

Sinä poimit muruseni

ripottelit ne takaisin

oikeille paikoilleen

Annoit ja otit

vaihtokauppaa parhaimmillaan

Minusta, yhdestä ja niin monesta

kokosit taas ihmisen

joka hengittää

Hymyilen, sillä tiedät

kuinka tehdä kauppaa

Snowy days

The air sits still

and the sun sets

snow falling

like I fall for you

The light of our hearts

will fight this

dark December

bleak days

for we will continue

on our way

even when the slowly dancing snow

tries to surround us

There is beauty

in these frosty days

and warm fingers

intertwining

My body is a gun

My body is a gun

I pull the trigger

every time I remember us

I shoot to kill

the beauty of the memories

we created that night

This time I will fall

all on my own

to the ground

Shooting star

I see a shooting star in you

the falling sparks

leaking from your eyes

when the stormy clouds

cover your mind

Se tapahtuu vääjäämättä

Makaan sun vieressä sängyllä

meillä on alla moottoritie

kaksisataa lasissa

Katson kuinka sä hengität

syvään ja hartaasti

ja ihmettelen, eikö tämä vauhti

saa sunkin silmiä vuotamaan

Pelkään ettei nämä tyynyt jotka on

täytetty hengitetyllä ilmalla

pehmennä meidän törmäystä

Tuhopolttajan taivas

Loin itselleni helvetin

jotta sydämeni ei jäätyisi

Poltin itseni vain

jotta voisin kuvitella olevani Feeniks

Tuhopolttajan taivas

tuhkat jalkojeni alla

polttavat edelleen

vaikka maa on jo jäätynyt

ja minä sen mukana

[03/17]

The notebook of whispered thoughts

Why is my heart pounding

when I write?

I grab the pen

to pour out my feelings

let loose the rhythm

that beats against my chest

Yet as I look down

on the notebook in front of me

my heart starts to dance in panic

Or in relief?

Every time a day

a week

a month

goes by without opening

the notebook of words

I am sure I have lost myself

I have come to the end of the road

that served me so well for years

I am dry

no ink spilling on the pages anymore

But then my heart starts to beat again

aches so much

that the only things that make it better

are the pen I have lost and

the notebook of whispered thoughts

[03/18]

Pillow talk

It's all just pillow talk

soft words crumbling

behind our closed lips

Mine against your neck

while you fall asleep

and dream of someone else

[03/18]

Lose

I can't stand silence

it brings out my inner dialogue

misfortunate lies

I don't know how to stand still

when my trembling legs

want to run towards the noise

Inside my head, inside my heart

the ongoing battle fades

as I scratch another lottery ticket

Winning is not important

I just want to lose

all sense of myself

All while the silence

tries to suffocate me

[03/18]

Meidän karttamme

Kirjoitan tarinamme ihollesi

seuraan sormellani väristyksiä

jotka kulkevat pintasi alla

kartoitan jokaisen huokauksen

En tahdo irroittaa otettani

vaikka tunnen sinun hiljalleen haihtuvan

[02/18]

Web of ignorance

I'm in love

with a daydream

intertwined in the lace

I want to believe

to be beautiful fabric

Ignoring the spider

that is crawling towards me

[03/18]

Muista

Harmaita hiuksia

putoilee tyynyn viereen

haalistuneiden muistojen

nostaessa hänet jälleen ylös

Mennyt elämä työntyy

ärsyttävän lähelle

ei jätä tilaa hengittämiselle

Samalla kun se tekee

siihen tarttumisen mahdottomaksi

[12/17]

Remember

Grey hair falling

next to the pillow

as faded memories

pick her up again

The past life pushing

annoyingly close

leaving no room to breathe

All while it's impossible

to grasp it all

[12/17]

Unfolding

I am sitting in a corner

watching myself unfold

I can't feel myself

yet I am bleeding

The black blood

tries to remind me

of life

how it feels to

be something

As my thoughts turn red

and my eyelids give up

I untie the last knots

that keep me together

[12/17]

Pieces

I want to fall to pieces

crumble under your touch

while your fingertips

glue my soul

back together

[01/18]

In between

I'm in between

In between of life and death

existing silently

In between the road and the forest

drowning in the trench

In between the sun and the moon

floating away in the heavy air

In between is my home

where I belong

For I am the good and the bad

perfect blend of invisibility

Easily lost and easily forgotten

          (by others, by myself)

I forgot myself

in between these lines

[12/17]