29.5.2017

The book of my mind

My mind is full on unread words
phrases that never leave my lips

I wish you could read my mind
find your way through my truths
the lost parts of conversations
and dreams I can't say out loud

I'd give you the key to unlock all of it
but just for a minute
so you could know me
learn the little pieces of me
that I can't seem to bring out

But I wouldn't let you see all of it
because even I can just barely understand
what the words in the book of my mind mean

[04/17]

20.5.2017

Ruusutarha

Tein itselleni pedin ruusujen keskelle
nukahdin siihen tuoksuun
annoin sen tunkeutua ihoni alle

Se puudutti aistini
en huomannut piikkien raapivan kasvojani
ennen kuin arvet
tekivät silmien avaamisen mahdottomaksi
tuskallisen turhauttavaksi

Verta vuotavat huuleni
eivät voineet edes kuiskata
vaikka ruusut ympärilläni
saivat sanat sisälläni soimaan

[03/17]

10.5.2017

3 a.m.

Your tangled hair lays on the pillow like a messy cloud, the same way your thoughts are knotted and scattered around your bed at 3 a.m. The heavy air is pressing you against the cold sheets and you feel like you can't move under all the numb restlessness. It's too much and too little.

Midnight has passed a long time ago. It feels like there is an eternity between you and the daylight but in reality, there's only the wall your mind created. The one you put up every night. It blocks your sleep because even though you are tired and crave for the much needed rest, you are simply too exhausted to climb over it. So you stay behind it, let it divide your thoughts from reality, your anxious mind from sleep.

There are moments when you can close your eyes and pretend that your consciousness is no longer awake. Imagine that the loneliness around you is a mere illusion. There is a movie playing inside your eyelids, giving you hope for the empty days to soon fill with life. You can almost feel someone next to you, the person you long for. The warmth of another lonely soul. Imagine that the air, the breath that brushes your skin isn't actually yours but someone else's.

As long as you keep your eyes closed, you are safe. The only thing you need are the dreams you create and even if the wall around you is keeping sleep far away from you, at least you'll have the illusion. The blue haven for your soul.

3 a.m. can be deadly if you let it too close; if the fantasy breaks and you let reality flow into your imagination, let it mix with all the sweet little lies of yours. Even if you open your eyes to see the darkness settling in, there's still hope as long as you draw that thin line between small hours and you.


The wall you keep building against your own will protects your soul, it's between your inner self and everything else. Just don't let it grow too tall or your soul will turn into a prisoner of itself. But don't let it crumble too fast either, it might just be the only thing that keeps you sane when the loneliness sinks in too deep and hits your core.

7.5.2017

Scarred sky

Scarred sky underneath my skin
star constellations on the surface
Your touch brings out
all the sparkling galaxies within me

This stardust around us
creates a new light for the past
beautiful shadows for the future
Let's fall when we still can

[03/17]

Arpinen taivas

Arpinen taivas ihoni alla
tähtikuvioita pinnalla
Sinun kosketuksesi tuo esiin
kaikki sisälläni kuplivat galaksit

Tämä tähtisumu ympärillämme
luo uuden valon menneisyydelle
kauniita varjoja tulevaisuudelle
Pudotaan vielä kun voidaan

[03/17]

I can't please my mind

I can't please my mind

When I take a right turn
it screams in my left ear

When I stop thinking
it keeps pushing me over the edge

I have to keep on moving
even when my feet
are glued to the ground
and soul nailed to
the scene around me

I can't please my mind
even when I try to
because it doesn't know what it wants
and neither do I

We are the same

[03/17]

En voi miellyttää mieltäni

En voi miellyttää mieltäni

Kun käännyn oikeaan
se huutaa vasempaan korvaani

Kun lopetan ajattelemisen
se työntää minut reunan yli

Minun täytyy pysyä liikkeessä
vaikka jalkani ovat
liimattuina maahan
ja sieluni naulattuna
maisemaan ympärilläni

En voi miellyttää mieltäni
vaikka yrittäisin
koska se ei tiedä mitä se haluaa
enkä tiedä minäkään

Olemme samanlaisia

[03/17]

Älä jää

Selkäsi kaari
tuntuu kohtalolta
vasten sieluani

Sinun lämpösi
sulaa ihollani
kuin lumi

Ethän jää tänne

[03/17]

Don't stay

The arch of your back
feels like destiny
against my soul

Your warmth
melts on my skin
like snow

Please don't stay

[03/17]

Ei mitään

Tyhjät silmät, tyhjät kädet
Hiljaisuus vuotaa suonistani
Elotonta ilmaa keuhkoissani
Paljaita ajatuksia pimeydessä

Ja kaikki mitä halusin
olit sinä

[03/17]

Nothing

Empty eyes, empty hands
Silence bleeding from my veins
Lifeless air in my lungs
Bare thoughts in the darkness

And all I wanted
was you

[03/17]

Kiss the poetry from your lips

Kiss the poetry
from your lips
onto mine

Breathe out your lies
so I have something
to believe in

Let your wandering hands
create new paths
for our mistakes

Do anything just so
I don't have to fall
          apart
          in love

1.5.2017

Just one minute

Time is not real within this numbness
the ticking of the clock
is not from my reality

It echoes from another dimension
demands to be heard
when I don't understand its language

It keeps pushing me around
showing me the way to dead ends
and abandoned conclusions

The numbers try to make me move
tell me stories of failure
scare me to think that
my world is disappearing
as the seconds pass so loudly

All I need is a minute for myself

[03/17]

Vain yksi minuutti

Aika ei ole totta tässä tunnottomuudessa
kellon tikitys
ei ole minun todellisuudestani

Se kaikuu toisesta ulottuvuudesta
vaatii tulla kuulluksi
vaikka en ymmärrä sen kieltä

Se tönii minua ympäriinsä
näyttää tien umpikujiin
ja hylättyihin päätelmiin

Numerot yrittävät saada minut liikkumaan
kertovat tarinoita epäonnistumisesta
pelottelevat minut ajattelemaan
että maailmani on katoamassa
kun sekunnit kiitävät äänekkäästi ohi

Minä tarvitsisin vain minuutin itselleni

[03/17]