Lost

The bruises on my skin

map out my lost ways

show all my errors, wrong turns

They are the traffic lights that

flashed false colours for me

They are turning from

red to yellow

and I'm not ready to move

Instead of waiting for

them to show their green light

I beat them black and blue again

[05/17]

Kuiva

Minussa ei ole enää sanoja

Olen valuttanut ne kaikki ulos

kuiva paperi nieli viimeisetkin pisarat

inspiraatiostani ja omistautuneisuudestani

Vain tyhjiä rivejä muistikirjassani

ja hiljainen mieli

Sekoitan mustetta juomiini

siinä toivossa että se virtaisi taas veressäni

[03/17]

Dry

There are no words in me anymore

I've drained them all out

the dry paper soaked every last bit

of my inspiration and devotion

Just empty lines in a notebook

and a silent mind

I mix ink in my drinks

in the hopes of it running in my veins again

[03/17]

Ugly

From the mirror stares back

a melted face

eyes leaking acid

mouth stuck in a grin

Freak circus ticket

burns in the back pocket

Chained to a frame

staring at my own reflection

I crawl away from my own life

Is originality

playing any part in this game

if people around me

vomit melancholy

[10/16]

Heart - Mind

Listening to your heart

is the hardest thing

when your mind keeps shouting truths

Listening to your mind

is complicated

when your heart keeps loving

the things you should run away from

the things you should ignore

the things you should forget

the things that aren't even real

I hate how my heart feeds me these fantasies of love

Those scenarios

that make me hopeful

but will never happen because

I'm too afraid to see

I'm too afraid to look at the sun

because I know it will blind me

It should be the source of warmth

and light

but to me it's a scary black hole

that is waiting for me to finally fall for it

To finally burn to pieces

in the name of sanity

or insanity

or maybe both

Sometimes my heart thinks that

being blinded by the burning force

is the same thing as being in love

That all I need is to let myself go

fall in the black hole and

I'll be free

or at least caged in a neverending happiness

But my mind fights against it

It tries to close all the windows

so the light doesn't get in

so I don't lose my sight and sanity

But my heart so often

keeps the door open

[09/16]

The Symphony

I need someone to translate my thoughts

because I don't speak the language

my heart uses

the words my brain sings in

It all sounds like a messy orchestra

with their old instruments

that clash to each other

more out of tune after every note

The nonsense lyrics

don't resonate with me

I can't catch them from the

agonising air

that lingers around me

waits for me to understand it all

[03/17]