I am the night sky

I am not the type of girl

that people write poetry about

not the one that makes people

think of sunrises and summer rain

For I am the night sky, silent

with stars falling like

people fall for each other

[08/17]

She's a black hole

I look at her

She's a black hole

so open, raw

emotions sucking me in

while I fight for my life

for her life

trying to save us both

from this collapsing universe

[07/17]

Crashing tides

She was hoping

silently begging

for him to see

all of the overflowing rivers

she held inside of her

The drops of emotions

not even the ocean

could understand

without drowning

She wanted him

to see

the sea

the crashing tides

behind her eyes

She was always worried

the great waves

would kill him

leave him speechless

But he whispered

”I see you”

[07/17]

Hidden fantasy

I yearn for a place I've never known

I miss eyes I've never seen

All my life there has been

an inexplicable longing

for the nonexistent truth

[04/17]

Shades of self discovery

I am a messy palette

colours mixed in together

painting the outside of the

straight lines

creating grey rainbows

on bruised knees

pale skin faking freckles

just so it doesn't have to be empty

My heart dances with the moon

shining above my imagination

makes up love songs

out of sheer curiosity

while my hands

shaking hands

draw out the insecurity in my spine

shatter bones just to

find colour in them

I am the painting

so many artists in me tried to create

Never finished

Half way done

Half ready to give up

and dive in the bucket

of black paint and misunderstandings

drown out the mistakes

on my skin

under the dark layer of the facade

I'm bleeding colours

I could never imagine described me

but I am all of them

All of the shades of self discovery

I am the lost paint brush

losing all of its (h)air

while breathing under the surface

the blurry water

cleaning the layers of

unused smiles

just to take on another round

My laughing colours

bleed into each other

and the never finished canvas

wrapped around me

lets me breathe for a moment

just to let me know

how it feels like to be

a human

[07/17]

It is up to you

I will be invisible

for as long as you

look straight through me

I will be whole

for as long as you

don't question it

I will be okay

for as long as you

you don't see me

[07/17]

Saavuttamaton vastaus

Kirjoitan tajunnanvirtaa

ja yritän etsiä punaista lankaa

joka yhdistää minut

tähän maailmaan

Se kiemurtelee läpi

mitättömien keskusteluiden

ja turhien suhteiden

ohi kaikkien niiden minuuttien

jotka kulutin miettien

olenko oikeasti olemassa

Päädyn aina samaan lopputulokseen

saavuttamattomaan vastaukseen

[04/17]

Glass

I'm drunk on this numbness

battling against the

timeless minutes

that pass without touching me

I'm clear

see-through

All the cacophony

can't reach me

from this glass castle

I don't know if

I blocked all the feelings

I'm suppose to feel

left them out

as the hours ran away

or if the disappearing days

buried me in this

callous embrace of

grey nights

[04/17]

Lasi

Olen humaltunut tästä tunnottomuudesta

taistelen vastaan

ajattomia minuutteja

jotka kuluvat koskettamatta minua

Olen paljas

läpinäkyvä

Kaikki se kakofonia

ei voi saavuttaa minua

tämän lasilinnan sisältä

En tiedä

salpasinko kaikki ne tunteet

jotka minun kuuluisia tuntea

jätin ne ulos

kun tunnit juoksivat karkuun

vai hautasivatko

katoavat päivät minut

tähän tunteettomaan

harmaiden öiden syleilyyn

[04/17]

The view from within

The view from my balcony

paints pictures in my mind

Full of colors of the sunrise

and the sound of foggy mornings

when birds are too lost to sing

The cars drive by like

there is a better tomorrow waiting

just around the block

I don't believe in happy endings

kisses at sunsets

and bright nights

People can look for the romantic ending

from the neighborhood

but my mind wanders around the city

like a lost raven dressed as a swan

I don't need the wind to take me higher

not another turn on the street

to find a way through this

messy home I've built

The foggy mornings soothe me

so I can imagine a cloudless sky

when the run rises again

and loans its colours to me

so I can fill my restless mind

with the beauty I created

[04/17]

Vuorovesi

Kätesi hartioillani

saavat polveni heikoiksi

kauhusta vai ilosta?

Nämä aallot sisälläni

puhdistavat ja repivät auki

jokaisen ajatukseni, toiveeni

En tiedä kuuluuko minun

takertua sinuun

vai päästää irti

[04/17]

Lukittu

En saa kiinni omista ajatuksistani

ne juoksevat läpi seinien

hyppivät yli aitojen

jotka olen pystyttänyt

pitääkseni muiden katseet

kaukana minusta

En uskalla purkaa muuria

jotta voisin kerätä järkeni takaisin

lukita sen näiden seinien sisään

Saadakseni itseni kokoon

täytyisi minun lyödä itseni läpi

karata tästä vankilasta

joka oli aluksi kyhätty kasaan

oksista ja sammalesta

mutta ajan kuluessa se muuttui

kiveksi ja teräkseksi

Hiljaisuuden keskellä

on helppoa tulla hulluksi

kuvitella ympärille musiikkia ja sanoja

joita kukaan ei ole vielä keksinyt

Kirjoittaa lauseita toisensa jälkeen

ja toivoa että ne auttavat

eristyksen keskellä

tuovat seuraa

edes yksinäisten kirjainten muodossa

Ne eivät silti luo uusia ajatuksia

tuo takaisin karanneita mielikuvituksen rippeitä

[03/17]

The book of my mind

My mind is full on unread words

phrases that never leave my lips

I wish you could read my mind

find your way through my truths

the lost parts of conversations

and dreams I can't say out loud

I'd give you the key to unlock all of it

but just for a minute

so you could know me

learn the little pieces of me

that I can't seem to bring out

But I wouldn't let you see all of it

because even I can just barely understand

what the words in the book of my mind mean

[04/17]

Ruusutarha

Tein itselleni pedin ruusujen keskelle

nukahdin siihen tuoksuun

annoin sen tunkeutua ihoni alle

Se puudutti aistini

en huomannut piikkien raapivan kasvojani

ennen kuin arvet

tekivät silmien avaamisen mahdottomaksi

tuskallisen turhauttavaksi

Verta vuotavat huuleni

eivät voineet edes kuiskata

vaikka ruusut ympärilläni

saivat sanat sisälläni soimaan

[03/17]

3 a.m.

Your tangled hair lays on the pillow like a messy cloud, the same way your thoughts are knotted and scattered around your bed at 3 a.m. The heavy air is pressing you against the cold sheets and you feel like you can't move under all the numb restlessness. It's too much and too little.

Midnight has passed a long time ago. It feels like there is an eternity between you and the daylight but in reality, there's only the wall your mind created. The one you put up every night. It blocks your sleep because even though you are tired and crave for the much needed rest, you are simply too exhausted to climb over it. So you stay behind it, let it divide your thoughts from reality, your anxious mind from sleep.

There are moments when you can close your eyes and pretend that your consciousness is no longer awake. Imagine that the loneliness around you is a mere illusion. There is a movie playing inside your eyelids, giving you hope for the empty days to soon fill with life. You can almost feel someone next to you, the person you long for. The warmth of another lonely soul. Imagine that the air, the breath that brushes your skin isn't actually yours but someone else's.

As long as you keep your eyes closed, you are safe. The only thing you need are the dreams you create and even if the wall around you is keeping sleep far away from you, at least you'll have the illusion. The blue haven for your soul.

3 a.m. can be deadly if you let it too close; if the fantasy breaks and you let reality flow into your imagination, let it mix with all the sweet little lies of yours. Even if you open your eyes to see the darkness settling in, there's still hope as long as you draw that thin line between small hours and you.

The wall you keep building against your own will protects your soul, it's between your inner self and everything else. Just don't let it grow too tall or your soul will turn into a prisoner of itself. But don't let it crumble too fast either, it might just be the only thing that keeps you sane when the loneliness sinks in too deep and hits your core.

Scarred sky

Scarred sky underneath my skin

star constellations on the surface

Your touch brings out

all the sparkling galaxies within me

This stardust around us

creates a new light for the past

beautiful shadows for the future

Let's fall when we still can

[03/17]

Arpinen taivas

Arpinen taivas ihoni alla

tähtikuvioita pinnalla

Sinun kosketuksesi tuo esiin

kaikki sisälläni kuplivat galaksit

Tämä tähtisumu ympärillämme

luo uuden valon menneisyydelle

kauniita varjoja tulevaisuudelle

Pudotaan vielä kun voidaan

[03/17]

I can't please my mind

I can't please my mind

When I take a right turn

it screams in my left ear

When I stop thinking

it keeps pushing me over the edge

I have to keep on moving

even when my feet

are glued to the ground

and soul nailed to

the scene around me

I can't please my mind

even when I try to

because it doesn't know what it wants

and neither do I

We are the same

[03/17]

En voi miellyttää mieltäni

En voi miellyttää mieltäni

Kun käännyn oikeaan

se huutaa vasempaan korvaani

Kun lopetan ajattelemisen

se työntää minut reunan yli

Minun täytyy pysyä liikkeessä

vaikka jalkani ovat

liimattuina maahan

ja sieluni naulattuna

maisemaan ympärilläni

En voi miellyttää mieltäni

vaikka yrittäisin

koska se ei tiedä mitä se haluaa

enkä tiedä minäkään

Olemme samanlaisia

[03/17]

Älä jää

Selkäsi kaari

tuntuu kohtalolta

vasten sieluani

Sinun lämpösi

sulaa ihollani

kuin lumi

Ethän jää tänne

[03/17]